THE REBEL GOLFER RATING:
MUST PLAY

9 holes is my new favorite way of playing golf. I don’t have time for 18 holes of annoying slow players like all of you reading this (except for my fellow rebel golfer’s) and you’re all a non-issue when I’m only playing 9 holes. Besides that I just don’t care to play 18 holes of golf.

The funny thing about when I started playing 9 holes is that I actually wanted to play golf more often. And because of that I started wanting to find places to play 9 holes more often. One such place is a 9 hole golf course called Allandale in Innisfil, Ontario.

It’s a Stanley something or other design — not that anyone should care who designed their golf course — and it’s the exact type of mom and pop golf course I love like a cold one after a steamy round.

Being from southern Ontario, I’m used to pulling out a c-note every time I go play some stick. When I visit places like Allandale and all I have to shell out is a quarter c for 9 holes I hear angels in the background. $30 – $35 is exactly how much I think golf should cost and that’s what it costs (even less) at Allandale.

THE STATS

  • Type: Semi-private
  • Season: May – October
  • Architect: Stanley Thompson
  • Location: Innisfil, Ontario, Canada
  • Year opened: 1932
  • Holes: 9 | Par 35 | Length: 3250 yards | Slope: 132 | Rating: 35.4
  • Website: Here

THE COURSE

Holy smokes this place is a sleeper if you are the kind of stickballer that likes old style classic golf courses. To start, it’s the perfect beer belly walking rebel golfer’s golf course — you can fall over in a drunken stupor from any green and end up on the next tee.

This is good because The Rebel Golfer is lazy but I “elect” to walk whenever I can as a means of breaking free from that laziness. I could give you some kinda holier than thou explanation about how golf was meant to be played walking and yadda yadda yadda, but I don’t give a flying heap about that…I do it for the steps, brah.

There are a couple of really long par 3s at Allandale. The 3rd hole was something like 240 yards to a small well guarded green into the wind! Hitting that shot I was clenching my butt cheeks so tight, not because I was nervous, but because I was trying to crank my 3 wood so hard it’s the only thing that kept me from having an accident in my pants.

My favourite part about Allandale is how it was in perfect condition, which wouldn’t be perfect to you, but still perfect to me. The greens ran at speeds that were very conducive to making putts and looked spec-tack-u-lair…literally some of the more flawless greens I’ve seen all season in terms of ball marks.

Apart from that, Allandale played firm like a beautiful bottom. We’ve been getting torrentially torrential rain all year but my ball was bouncing like Snoop Dog’s 1967 Caddy. I was running balls into greens and drives were getting bounces into trees like no tomorrow, and that’s my definition of F-U-N.

The par 5’s were pretty good too! The 1st and 9th were very good, but the 5th was a standout even though it is a bit short. A very natural green site and the sweeping uphill dogleg work together like bread and butter.

19TH HOLE THOUGHTS

Allandale is the exact type of golf course I would play everyday for the rest of my stickball days. It’s quaint, quiet, fun, sporty, somewhat quirky and all I would need from my golf course.

Being 9 holes a lot of people stay away because they are too good for 9 holes, which is perfect. The fact that so many need their 18 holes like they need their daily caffeine fix or they don’t consider a golf course golf (dumb) works for me because it keeps the slow pokes at bay.

So to all you slowpokes out there stay away from Allandale.

To all my rebel golfer’s out there hope to see you at Allandale.

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